"I Hate My Life"


“I hate my life!” have those words ever been uttered from your lips?  Regrettably, many of us have to say yes.  There have been times when we are in that deep pit of depression and the clutches of self-pity seem to have their claws clamped down on us.  It is during those times we may utter those words, “I hate my life!”  It is times like this when we might even wish we had never been born, just as Job does in Job 10.  In fact, those are the exact words he said to his friend, “I hate my life!” (Job 10.1) and “I wish I had never been born” (Job 10.18-19).  We might even be tempted to say what Job says to God “…leave me alone…” (Job 10.20).  When we are in that pit, these things become common thoughts for us. However, we must remember that every pit was made for God to pull us out of.  Maybe that is part of what God wants us to see within the story of Job.  We cannot blame God for our pain.  We must turn to Him when we suffer and trust that when He sees fit, He will offer us relief, encouragement and salvation. I have always been intrigued by C.S. Lewis and his perspective on pain. Lewis had suffered so much and had found himself in that same pit. He lost his mother at an early age, saw his dad emotionally abandon him, suffered from a respiratory illness as a teenager, fought and was wounded in World War I, and finally had to bury his beloved wife. Through all of this, Lewis wrote about all his heartache in his work “The Problem of Pain”. In this book, Lewis penned one of his most famous lines:

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  Maybe instead of wallowing in our self-pity and focusing on our pain, we just simply need to say, “I hear you God…I hear you!”  Then turn to Him and allow Him to do what He does best: love.


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